Fun: the Sensual Glue that Builds Desire in Marriage

We’re all busy.  That’s just life on earth right now.  And each year—with the pervasive yet overburdening power of the internet—we give ourselves more things to do:  more ways to market, spin, connect, and work the room of not only our work life, but our social life as well. We’re screen-focused, for sure, and though […]


“I’m Done with All That.” Why Sexless Marriages Aren’t Meant to Be.

“I’m Done with All That.” Why Sexless Marriages Aren’t Meant to Be.


‘Why Aren’t We Ever in the Mood?’ A Timeline for Sex in Marriage

‘Why aren’t we ever in the mood?’ A timeline for sex in marriage

wedding dress

A Sexual, Passionate Marriage: The ‘Adult Disneyland’ of Mature Loving

When I think about the gifts of time-in having sex with my partner, what always comes to my mind is a phrase I coined:  that is, that fulfilling, adult loving is like an Adult Disneyland. And the sensual difference between the experience I’m talking about and the one we usually measure ourselves against is this:  […]

kiss beach

#SexyMarriage: The Art of the Sensual, the Affectionate, and the Romantic

I’ve been using the hashtag #sexymarriage in my twitter posts lately and it’s got me to thinking:  what truly makes for a sexy marriage? In our early-loving experiences we often thought that a sexy marriage was one that was populated by—you guessed it—lots and lots of sex.  When I was first dating, I remember hearing […]


Uninterrupted Time for Sex: the Gift that Gives us Prowess

How do we get to the loving we say we want in our busy marriages? Here’s how:  we set and keep a regular time to be close to each other.  The key of what I’m talking about is uninterrupted time.  Time we can get our hands, hearts and bodies in regularly.  Whenever I coach couples […]

sunset hug

A Naked, Fulfilling, Monogamous Love Affair

If we want a truly fulfilling, monogamous love affair in our marriage, how do we get there? Our lives are busy and pressured with all of the duties and responsibilities of marriage and family life; our work lives demand more and more of our time; we’ve may have aging parents who need our attention, a […]

Asian hug

Prowess: The Sexual and Sensual Gift of Married Love

In my last blog we set up the idea that we can have a joyfully monogamous relationship in our marriage.  We agreed that in order to have the love affair we’re really longing for with our partner, we’ve got to give up certain engrained myths that we’ve been schooled in. These include: 1) the ‘hot’ […]


A Sexless Marriage or ‘Joyful Monogamy?’

My dear friend and compatriot Bill Schacht (MS, LCSW), in his Franklin, Wisconsin, series “Great Relationship Sense,” has coined the phrase ‘Joyful Monogamy.’  ( When we take a moment and think through what’s behind that phrase, what stands out is a progressive and marriage-supporting theme that monogamy can be and should be joyful, and need […]


Sex in the Age of Reason

Sex in the age of reason: give up identifying with your head to find the gifts of sensuality in your marriage.