A Sexless Marriage or ‘Joyful Monogamy?’

My dear friend and compatriot Bill Schacht (MS, LCSW), in his Franklin, Wisconsin, series “Great Relationship Sense,” has coined the phrase ‘Joyful Monogamy.’  ( When we take a moment and think through what’s behind that phrase, what stands out is a progressive and marriage-supporting theme that monogamy can be and should be joyful, and need […]


The Sexless Marriage

A sexless marriage.  It’s what we all dread—the going south of our passion for each other, the edginess and irritation that results, the worry and fear that our relationship is slowly disintegrating because we can’t touch each other. Just now, there’s a new conversation in our culture about the issue—which until now has been a […]


Unplugging Part Two: The Sex Gifts of Powering Down

In my last blog I wrote about the important of unplugging from our devices so we can focus on the sensuousness of our partner in marriage.  On his or her real presence—and then allow ourselves enough time for that focus to generate delight and a kick-start of our desire. But let’s think for a moment […]


Unplugging: Turning Off the Damned Devices in Marriage

Just today I was having a long chat with my best friend about the phenomenon of face-in-the-screen in marriage.  “It drives me nuts,” she said, “every time we go out for dinner he puts the damn phone right in the middle of the table.  It’s like whoever is calling or texting is more important than […]

Simple style, ease and grace

The Shapes of Sex and Artistry

This past weekend I was wandering around the Abbott Kinney neighborhood of Venice Beach with my dear friend Samantha, doing a little bargain shopping and generally just wandering around in the sun together.  I didn’t really need anything, but I had a little bit of cash to burn. As we wandered in and out of […]